Yesterday.

Yesterday at the football... God how many fabulous stories start like that?

Plenty in this house, I can assure you.

Well, anyway, we lost, but that's OK, we ran out like a pack of old moles and kept the tempo up for 80 minutes and then ambled off like, well, like a pack of old moles.

You can't coach that!
It's God given.

Boring, boring, boring.

I was so bored, I didn't even finish my thermos of chamomile tea for fear of dropping off to sleep.
I wasn't far off, I can promise you.

And you know something else, even sitting in Row 14, I was still closer to the wing than Hegarty was.

But that's not what I want to tell you.

In fact, I have deliberately steered clear of discussing Souths in my blog because no matter how I approach it, I just can't express any of what I feel properly.
Especially this year.

I believe I have one almighty blog in me (fnar fnar) about Souths, and I can feel it rising to the surface (fnar fnar), so it won't be long now.
It ain't gonna be purty though.

Anyway, yesterday after the game, while I was walking bleary eyed towards the car park, I headed a little off course and found myself nearing the red and green bus that doubles as a merchandise stand.

Members were entitled to 20% off, and I was checking out a jumper.
I decided against it and paused, waiting for my boys to catch up - apparently I sleepwalk very fast.
Gave me time to stretch and yawn anyway.

Just as I was coming to, a Tigers supporter (I have nothing against them as a rule), went by and made the single most appallingly daft comment possible.

Seriously, if I gave you all pen and paper, you'd none of you come up with this beauty.

Charles Dickens may have though, but the concept would have lasted a full page, if not a chapter.

As he approached the bus, he said,

"Souths stuff - it's free now."

Lordy, lordy, lordy.

Honestly, I was mid yawn anyway, so although I was put out by the fact that I had to listen to such a witless and dopey attempt at humour (?) or whatever it was, I didn't even bother myself by worrying about the unhealthy ratio of stupid people to smart ones.

Until....

Until a few seconds later when another (maybe I'm being unfair, maybe he was retarded) old guy kept staring at me in a most irritating fashion.
Eventually, he gave up trying to get my attention that way (I practice staring with my cats), and said,

" He said, the Souths stuff is free..."

I ignored him further.

He repeated his comment twice more, until I could no longer stand the utter stupidity of the situation.

I then (and no, I'm not proud of this) replied,

"Yes, I'm aware of that. I'm just trying imagine a lamer comment, but I don't think it's possible."

He was not completely satisfied with my answer. The reason/s remain with him.

I related this to the boys just as we arrived at the car.
Jeff looked at me, utterly amazed, laughed, and told me,

"Yeah, but, he probably really thought they were free..."

Ah, yes. Good point.

So, the moral to the story is what?

• Don't drift off to sleep at the football.
• Bone up (fnar fnar) on your ignoring skills.
• Accept that the relative stupidity gap is widening daily. Anyone seen Idiocracy? FFS That movie almost killed me.
• Stay on Hegarty's wing.
• Start adding pharmaceutical grade caffeine to my "Night Cap" tea bags.
• Start finding lame stuff funny.

So, no more catching 40 winks in public anymore.
I just thought that if the team could do it...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz