Fifteen.

Fifteen.

That's how many times I imagined myself sticking a fork into a customer's eyes today.

And I think that's only because I know exactly what a fork looks and feels like.
If I had a nice, clear mental image of a chainsaw or worse, I probably would have been so overcome with my fantasy that I would have started making appropriate noises.

Forks don't makes noises, so I got away with it.

Ordinarily I can detach from people, but this one demanded my absolute attention for all the wrong reasons.

You all know me quite well, so why don't you try and see if you can guess what they were.

Really, there aren't too many things that get my back up.
Hint.... the exchange did not involve fabric.
Or cats.

So, that only leaves injustice, stupidity and South Sydney, doesn't it?
This guy managed to touch on all three.
Hence the forks.

Now, at this time in history, I'm really do feel completely OK with whatever comments I have to endure about my beloved club, because it's fair.
We are no longer at such a severe disadvantage as we once were.

Now it's our fault.
We just suck and we have no heart.

Not the fans, of course.
Souths fans are some of the best people in the world.
Honourable mention to Cleveland Browns fans though, innit.

But, when I'm in a work environment, ultimately I'm being paid to be polite.
Nevertheless, I do think it's unfair for me to be expected to tolerate someone who is, all at once, stupid, witless, rude, impertinent and bullishly egotistical.

My God, if you're not too quick, why would you attempt vitriolic witticisms at all?
Can it be that the forced laughter these people hear from the polite is taken as genuine hilarity, or worse still, encouragement?
Well, the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that this is the case.
And that it must stop.

And my suggestion to combat this problem is to organise some sort of social strike.
We need to determine an appropriate date and just stop encouraging bad humour and moronic exchanges.
Let the bastards go cold turkey.
They've had it too good for too long.

As we have long been part of the problem, surely we must now take responsibility for correcting this terrible social predicament.
Never again should we chortle at lame jokes or feign interest in observations so dopey that they make our eyes water and our brains dissolve.
Indeed, we must not continue to do so. It simply digs the grave deeper for subsequent generations.

Can you imagine the blissful social turmoil that would be created if we all just stopped laughing at things we didn't find funny?
Could you imagine to difference it would make to breakfast radio? Daytime television? Dinner parties?
The knock on effects are endless. And wonderful.

So, my final words on the subject are these...mate, I don't care how old or stupid you are, you're not fucken funny.