Simonean Utopia

No.
I just can't take it anymore.
It's time for a change.

Far too many things bug me these days for it to be my attitude that's the problem.

If someone had set things up properly the first time, then I wouldn't have to be sitting here today, writing this when I could be sewing my hexagons instead.
But I am, so I'm going to put my back into it and do it properly.

I'm about to outline a few changes that I believe the world could afford to make in order to attain the perfection that would be The Simonean Utopia.
This may otherwise be defined as the way things should have been all along.

This is going to be a rough ride folks, so either strap in or jump now.

Should you make it to the end of this, you may hereafter find it just as difficult to function in the world as I do. And for that I am sorry.

• an individual's birthday will become an annual and personal public holiday. It's just common sense that no-one should have to work their birthday. Even children know that.
  
• In the event that it is raining 7am on a Monday, a public stay at home and read day will be declared. This will be funded by the solvency of un-Simonean businesses to be listed later.
  
• HSC curriculum to be altered to include the compulsory study of lyrics from the following people:- Jello Biafra, John Lennon, Bob Dylan, Woody Guthrie, Jack White.
• health food/vitamin rebate available to those who prevent costly chronic diseases with their lifestyle rather than clogging up the public health system.
• extra taxes for people who consume white bread, coke and excessive red meat.
• cigarettes to jump to $100 per pack. The extra revenue raised to be redistributed to people who don't smoke as spending money for their birthday public holiday or books for their raining reading days.
  
• alcohol advertising to reflect the stupidity of people drinking...no wait that's already happened. Hey, something I can tick off!
  
• The Roosters to observe a salary cap and to admit that they are indeed only 8 years old (seeing as they changed their name yet again in 2000) and not 100 years old as they make believe.
• gigantic drive thru mosques to be built across the road from each and every Hillsong establishment.
• personal pixelation to be developed for television so that we may each avoid looking at people we find offensive eg Brendan Nelson, Phil Gould, Bronwyn Bishop and her thing of a daughter.
  
• any non-indigenous person having ever uttered the words, "they should all go back where they came from" to be immediately removed to current global war torn and disaster areas to assist with infectious disease control.
• tax rebates for people who have travelled, in recognition of their probable greater cultural tolerance. Does not include travel to Paris as that is known to diminish same.
  
• extinction of the following corporations/businesses:- Coca Cola Amatil, News Ltd, Subway, McDonalds, Samsung, American Express, TAB, Wesfield, Hillsong, organised religion generally, Nestle, Disney.
  
• abolition of the following: weddings (to be attended by only paid witnesses in order to spare the innocent), all gift "showers" of any description, polite laughter, comments requiring polite laughter, reunions, line dancing, amateur theatre, mainstream music, mullets, comb overs, nostril hair, reality television, commercial current affairs and news programmes, breakfast radio, game shows and economy class long haul flights.
  
• the following terms: too much information, as you do, don't go there, it's all good, let's touch base.
• using the following names, even for pets:- Tyler, Riley, Cody, Coby, Angel, Jaydon, Logan, Cheyenne, Harley and Jesse. All off side and unwelcome in the Simonean Utopia.
  

Well, that's a very, very rough overview.
And there must be ten times more I need to add to this list for the very sake of humanity.

So, I've picked up where Sir Thomas More left off circa 1516 when he wrote Utopia.
I'm sure he could not have imagined the horror of many of the things we face day in and day out in today's society, thus enabling me to overlook his not having done a better job with the specifics of his writing all those years ago.