Monday, June 16, 2008

Evolution.

Evolution.

I wonder whether it only happens to those who believe in it.
Like wishing on a star, voodoo and reverse parking.

It seems to me that this fad is passing entire families and in some cases, even whole suburbs by completely.

I don't know about you, but I'm perfectly certain that I would have been somewhat happier living in a world where survival of the least smelly stood alongside survival of the fittest as one of evolution's basic requirements.
Mother Nature dropped the ball on that one.

In fact, I would go so far as to include the following on my evolution wish list.

  • survival of the least likely to encourage or participate in breakfast radio
  • survival of the least likely to place individual pieces of fruit in a plastic bag prior to purchase
  • survival of the least likely to ride a bicycle on a main road &/or during peak hour
  • survival of the least likely to whistle
  • survival of the least likely to wear strong aftershave or perfume
  • survival of the least likely to holiday in 3rd world countries and indulge fantasies of wealth and status at the expense of locals
  • survival of the least likely to invite you to amateur theatre
  • survival of the least likely to wear those long glittery toxic trailer nails that habour several hundred kinds of faecal bacteria beneath them
  • survival of the least likely to name a child Jaydon or anything-Lee (my faves so far are Sara-Lee and Shandi-Lee)
  • survival of the least likely to chant, "Roo-sters!"
  • survival of the least likely to wear thongs (flip flops) with winter clothing
  • survival of the least likely to have chicken nuggets in the freezer
  • survival of the least likely to eat with their mouth open
But, it's not all bad.
I have another list that may make me seem more tolerant.

  • survival of the most likely to wash regularly
  • survival of the most likely to read a book
  • survival of the most likely to carry a pen and an umbrella (both are necessary to win my respect)
That's about it though.

And I'm not about to recant any of that upon my death bed.

2 comments:

gretchenaro said...

I have to agree on every one except the chicken nuggets. My little Logan will eat nothing but chicken nuggets and in order for him to survive, they must be available. Please...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gretchenaro/2590788383/in/set-72157605687152232/

(The face he's making may be related to eating nothing but chicken nuggets or could just be cause he's a stinker.)

gretchenaro said...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gretchenaro/2590788383
/in/set-72157605687152232/

Damn thing cut off the link just cause it's 4,233,239,657,938 characters long!