Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam,eggs, bacon and spam.

So, apparently I'm SPAM.
And after just one blog, they felt the need to shut me down.
I cannot remember when I've been so flattered. It's all downhill from here.
In truth, I think they caught a whiff of my political and social edginess underneath it all and panicked.
So, before they do it again, I should offend as many people as possible and stick it to the MAN! God I hate that guy. I bet he's a Roosters supporter too.

Well now I've momentarily forgotten what I meant to rabbit (Up the Rabbitohs!) on about today.
Oh yes.
Third drawer.

This one is the business.

I'll go from the top of the pile down, which may or may not be chronological order.

  • Pink birthday card with cauliflower dog on it from Clair/girls
  • program/tickets Red and Green Ball 2004
  • my natal/astrological chart with print out x2 (?)
  • small orange drawstring bag with black cat motif made by Clair, filled with random nice messages
  • Jeff's chart
  • blank blue swirly notebook, purpose unknown
  • crumply paper, 1 sheet
  • 6 sheets paper with scrawly writing about a weird time a had spiritually a few years ago (probably what that book was for)
  • first 2 pages of something else I wrote a few years ago titled Guess what? yechhhhhhhhh
  • 2 pages of headings for Jeff's life story entitles C*** Bubblegum. Glancing over it, everything on it made me laugh out loud. I don't care what he says, chapter titles of "Mortein cures snoring" and "Pissing through the bricks" will still be delighting me in the afterlife. Get on with it son, you're killing me.
  • another birthday card from Clair and the girls, informing me that the sun shines out of my arse, complete with drawing... I really gotta get back on the treadmill.
  • Rabbitohs member card 2004...the good old days...
  • Rabbitohs Season ticket cards from 2006 and 2007
  • some green badge stating "Nuke the gay whales for Jesus"...has to be from Cath D
  • print outs of Adrian's 2 whole body aura scans of 1998 and 1999. What a difference a year makes ;O)
  • notebook with Jeff's stories fleshed out a little, in my handwriting. Get on with it son. FFS.
  • ticket stub to Charity Shield 2003
  • ticket stubs to Jack Johnson 2003, The White Stripes 2006, TOOL 2001.
  • hardback green tartan notebook...The Book of Zaps... pretty much determining a nasty experience in the afterlife for at least 3 of my readers. Never mind, we'll all be together.
  • whole body aura scan for me 1999, very green with a little yellow.
  • head shot aura pics for me 1996 x2, 1997, 2000, 2002. I'm never wearing a fringe again, I don't care how spiritually evolved it makes me look.
  • funeral card for Pete, my old schizophrenic patient whom I adored.
  • ticket stubs for Rabbitohs vs Warriors, vs Broncos 2003, vs Tigers 2003, vs Storm, vs Sharks, vs Cowboys, vs Dragons at SCG...all in the Corporate Whore days, thanks Jamie. :O) I still miss BOOing the Telstra table.
  • program for The Hollow Crown theatre thingo 2002, no way, that feels like last year
  • Opera Australia programs/tickets for La Boheme 2000, Figaro 2000, Figaro 2002, la Traviata 2002, la Traviata 2001, Cosi Fan Tutte 2001, Figaro 2004, Tosca 2005, Madame Butterfly 2006, Turandot 2007, The Pearl Fishers 2004, Don Giovanni 2003.
  • program for A Glass Onion (John Lennon) circa 2003/4
  • home made card from Stan featuring Peter Sellers/The Party motif. Excellent.
  • thank you letter from Rowan (future Australian rugby captain)
  • cassette featuring Stan on JJJ
  • birthday card from Rabbitohs captain, Peter Cusak, LOL, not cheesy at all.
  • after show pass to Donovan at the Enmore, thank you Max.
  • expired Driver's Licence 2005, saved because the pic was actually pretty good.
  • 1 orange texta
  • love note from Yasmin (neater writing than me even at age 5)
  • letter I wrote, addressed to "Fate" on behalf of Rabbitohs fans circa 2002-2004
  • letter Adrian wrote to Souths entitled "On Valentine's Day You Broke My Heart"
  • Outre Gallery "Beatsville" card
  • ticket stubs to World Sevens 2003
  • ticket stub to John Edward 2004
  • my family tree
  • program for Lila's Fine Arts Honours or Masters show
  • thank you card from Taryn for helping her after Bronte's birth (truthfully it's for going to Tamworth at all)
  • thank you card from one of Jeff's students for "teached me good English" also containing a promise of Kim-Chi which I never saw :O(
  • 101 more Souths tickets going back to 1998 vs Eels.
  • Vega allergy test including recommendation to avoid corn and egg LOL...done many years before I figured it out myself. I'm not cynical or stubborn though...
  • birthday card from me to Jeff, kept because I summed it all up for the first time in nearly 20 years.
  • 37 th birthday card from Jeff, addressing me as "Dear Bastard," and describing the Souths logo as "the mark of the Beast" :O) Who can resist that Sagittarian honesty?
  • birthday card from Adrian declaring that his life got better once I came along :O)
  • Sesame Street birthday card form the girls which I have also signed for myself :O)
Well, wasn't that awful?

And for those of you who are wondering why I skipped the second drawer, it is simply because it contains but 1 item.
hahahahaha, no.
Apparently I hid my red and green bunny ears in it once Jeff all but demanded an exorcism be performed on them. He believes that they are the sole reason for South Sydney's state of affairs during the last, well let's face it, 10 years even though I've only had them for 5 years.

Shhh, don't tell him I didn't chuck them. I'll pop them out when we're in the next GF. ;O)

4 comments:

John Patten said...

What if Jeff's right? What if all of our woes are your fault, for being ever so deceitful in protecting your shameful fashion sense?

The book of zaps sounds scary/weird. I'm not on that list though hey, because.. well I'm just not, right. RIGHT?!

Never had my aura scanned. Is that any different to when a chick back in high school covered her nude self in gladwrap and photocopied her entire body, complete with camel toe? I can tell ya - it didn't make it into Art Xpress.

gretchenaro said...

I really must know what a texta is.

OH and, quit spamming the internets. We need them for national security. (W told me that)

Auntie Simone said...

Buggered if I know what's American for texta!

Wet colouring stick maybe?

Those things that were lying around on your desk near the Spam container.

clairbear said...

"teached me good english" cracked me up!!!!