Well I'm thinking it's now time to perform an exorcism on my Parisian experiences.
I'm going to need sage, salt, pine oil, half a dozen black candles, a mirror and artemisia.
And lots of it.
Bit and pieces have leaked out here and there, but the water in the toilet bowl has finally stopped spinning and the final flush is at hand.
I'm even going to do the unthinkable and delve into my travel diary for those few days - something I have not yet had the courage to attempt.
Uh oh, this doesn't look good at all...
January 17th...Paris
Well, once again we are staying in a hotel across the road from a noisy construction site.
Considering the hotel is only a quarter full, you would think they would have placed us in a room elsewhere. Odd.
Actually, I'm not sure this is a room - not enough space for us to even pass each other. We had to throw the bags over the bed as they would not fit between the bed and the walls.
The corridor was just wide enough for my 8 stone frame and was exactly 2mm wider than my suitcase.
Both Jeff's arms rubbed against the walls and we think he may have had a re-birthing experience, we're not sure.
Who do you contact to find out? Should I phone the Australian Embassy?
...hmmm, honey, just wait until you get the full picture...
So, the noise just across the 8 foot wide lane and my cold made sure that we were awake at 6 am.
Tried to ignore it and doze and almost made it, but then the hotel sent workmen up to dismantle to heating at 7am and to use our door as a stopper for the sheet of metal they were drilling.
Why was I lead to believe that Paris would sound like piano accordions?
Additionally, they were all chain smoking and as the room was as large as an average sized wardrobe, I was having head spins from the nicotine clouds coming under the door.
It just got more and more ridiculous until we just gave in, got up, packed, dressed and left to find alternate accommodation.
Just around the corner, we found Hotel Suez - for 3 EU more per night the room is triple the size and we have a bidet.
What a fabulous thing.
So, we booked 4 nights and then marched back to the shit hole hotel and had to cancel the booking.
No surprises that the frosty cow tried to tell me that we would be charged for all 5 nights despite only staying 1.
While Jeff was upstairs collecting the bags, I looked her fair in the face and told her that whatever she charged would be worth it to get out of this dump.
You may imagine her surprise.
She gave me a hard time but backed off remarkably quickly when a group walked in to inquire about rooms just as I was half way through explaining what I thought of her and her hotel.
The non-verbal mutual agreement seemed to be that if I now shut up in front of the new people, she would not charge me for 4 nights accommodation...
I conservatively estimate that this took 5 years off her life.
I also consider this as my good deed for the day.
Watching her bite back her rage and slam pens around felt fantastic - something like what I imagine the Brits and Prussians felt like when they won the battle of Waterloo.
Never mind, fresh start.... although, this is my third fresh start here in under 24 hours though...what's going on?
They already wrecked my bag, and worse still, my Souths sticker at the airport, then the taxi we caught from the station to this prick of a joint ripped us off by driving us around many blocks instead of simply telling us that it was just around the corner...
Lovely people the Parisians so far...
...you ain't seen nothin' yet...
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